Love, Sex and Magic

Looking for love nowadays feels both easier and harder than ever. It's easier in the sense that there is so many more ways to connect to people, not just in your community, but around the world. It's harder in the sense that, with the rise of technology, where you can find out any answer to any question, there is a need for immediacy, and this has filtered through to the sexual landscape we live in. I feel like all anyone wants these days is a shag, and they are not prepared to wait for it.

I've been on many dates trying to find the one. Wait, let me re-phrase that. I've been on many FIRST dates trying to find the one. In the past I think I inadvertently gave out mixed signals. I'd talk about wanting a relationship, then when they said “Do you want to come back to mine, I'd say” “Yeah alright, sounds good” People translate come back to mine as sex, but I translate come back to mine as come back to mine. Do you know what I mean? I'm honest and I say what I mean. If I say let's go back to yours, I don't mean let's have sex. If I wanted to have sex with you, I'd try to awkwardly say back at mine or yours “Sooooooo … do you wanna *cough cough* you know … do the deed” As lame as that sounds, you see, I've never fully had sex. I've tried a couple of times, but never went through with it. I've just not felt comfortable enough. I'd love to find someone who is willing to have some patience when it comes to sex. Now that doesn't mean, we take the smallest steps in the world when it comes to intimacy. It also doesn't mean I don't love a good flirt. What it means is that when it comes having the best sexual experience, it won't happen immediately, so let's just take our time and practice, as we get to know each other more and more, and like each other more and more, it'll get so much better. I fear though that this situation is unrealistic. No one seems to truly understand. They say they do, but they never follow through in reality.

Another problem I seem to have is with protection. A lot of people don't seem to want to wear it. I do everything protected. This doesn't mean I think you're infected. This means that with the rise of STI's nowadays, I'm not willing to take that risk with ANYONE on the PLANET. If we, down the line, end up in a relationship and are totally comfortable and trustworthy, then of course we can leave it, but even then, do we really have to? Does it really make that much of a difference? I wouldn't know if it does, but I wouldn't think so.

All this talk of sex really dilutes what should be at the heart of a relationship, and as corny as this sounds, it's love (oh god cringe, i'm a big softie). Sex shouldn't be the be all and end all. Of course you need to find the other person physically very attractive but that doesn't mean you need to rush to have sex. Love is about more than sex. It's about someone's personality, having fun, getting to know each others hobbies and passions etc.

We, and I'm including myself in this, need to stop judging everyone so harshly, and give people a chance. You never know who might come round the corner. Not everyone is going to look like a model. This doesn't mean you need to drop your standards. I love a guy who keeps fit for example. All it means is, if someone has a certain hang up or less than perfect aspect or aspects, don't dump them immediately. In this time we live in, we need to be more caring for each other, and less excluding. The world needs love, we need love, I need love.  

Start Your Engines, It's Rupaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 2

Yes it's FINALLY that time when we get the second all stars edition of Rupaul's Drag Race. Who will follow in the footsteps of the transformative Chad Michaels? Well the season 2 cast has been confirmed and it's a solid crew.

First we have Alyssa Edwards *tongue pop*. The 6^th placer in season 5 of Rupaul's Drag Race has become one of the most successful queens following the show. With her own show “Alyssa's Secret” still going strong on WOWPresents, and performances being met with millions of views, it's no wonder Alyssa has been included, there would have been an outcry if she wasn't present. Her facial fierceness, unintentionally funny quips and killer choreography have catapulted her to stardom with even Miley Cyrus being a fan. She may not have got as far as any of the other queens in the cast in their respective seasons, but let's hope she goes further and smashes it. An early exit would be disappointing.

Second up we have Phi Phi O'Hara. A runner up from Season 4, this bitch has been busy. Her 365 days of drag series has seen Phi Phi show off unique look after beautiful unique look which she's received big praise for. Playing on her perception following Season 4, she may be out to show, not only how much she's grown, but also that she's a softie at heart and not the cutting serious queen that consumed her in Season 4. Phi Phi is a very talented queen. She can sing, dance and make amazing garments. Don't be surprised if Phi Phi takes the crown this season.

Next we have Ginger Minj. One of the two most recent participating queens in the cast, Ginger will be out to snatch the crown this time around, as in Season 7, she was the expectant winner for the vast majority of the season before Violet Chachki came through for the win. Ginger is mostly known for her funny side. Her impression of Adele in Snatch Game and performance in the John Waters challenge still live on for fans and with equally impressive turns in All Stars 2, Ginger could take the crown many thought she deserved in Season 7.

Fourth up we have Roxxxy Andrews. Runner up in Season 5, Roxxxy always impressed with her runway. Raja and Raven are always living for her looks and claim she should have won Season 5. People forget just how funny and talented Roxxxy was on her season, as her nastier streak slightly soured her time on Drag Race. Let's hope her pure talent shines through alone this time, and people see her for the amazingly accomplished queen she really is.

Fifth we have Katya. Another most recent participating queen, Katya is a massive fan favourite, and has revelled in her left of centre fashion and humour. Her successful new show Unhhhhhhh with Trixie Mattel is probably the most popular show on WOWPresents right now and fans will be hoping for equally funny moments in All Stars. Not just known for her comedy but also her flexibility, Katya has the potential to pull off some amazing performances that maybe we will get to see in All Stars. Someone who many call the true winner of Season 7, will she take the crown this time to truly win once and for all?

Season 5 favourite Detox is another popular queen taking part in all stars 2. The Season 5 4^th placer and DWV member will be hoping to make the final and win this time after just narrowly missing out on the Season 5 finale. Funnily enough she stole the show at the finale with her now classic black and white look. With looks of that level on all stars 2, surely Detox will take the crown. As equally funny as she is fashionable, Detox is a threat in the competition who could outshine her fellow Rolaskatox members to be Chad Michaels successor.

Surely one of the, if not the favourite to win All Stars 2 is Ms Alaska Thunderf**k. Runner Up in Season 5, Jinkx Monsoon just pipped her to the crown, but following Drag Race Alaska has been so successful. She released her album Anus with massive songs like Your Makeup Is Terrible, Nails and Anus itself. Her Brolaska series with her seriously hot brother Cory is still racking up the views on WOWPresents. She's an American Apparel Ad Girl with Willam and Courtney Act, and she's one of the go to girls of Drag Race if you want to know how to be successful following the show's run. Is there anything she can't do? Being a heavy favourite to win the crown for All Stars 2 will definitely put a big pressure on your shoulders. Can she do it? Of course she can. Will she do it? With such a talented cast, nothing is for certain. What is for certain though is that Alaska is one of the most popular girls in this cast. Will she live up to the expectations of her fans?

Way back from Season 2, which was 6 years ago believe it or not, is the stunningly beautiful Tatianna. Tatianna could be one of the most interesting queens to watch now, as she has had the longest time since competing on the race to come back. Will she show a big improvement? What we do know is that the face will be beat for the gods, she'll be look sickening and she'll be ready to take the crown and make the top 3 that she just missed out on in Season 2. Seeing her triumph would be a surprise considering how low her profile is compared to the other queens of the all stars season, but who wants the expected? No one, so Tatianna picking up the crown would be a great underdog win we'd all love.

Second last we have Coco Montrese. The 5^th placer and Alyssa Edwards rival, Coco showed her stunning beauty in Season 5 and went far in the competition. Possibly placed in the competition to set a round 2 battle with Alyssa, we know since then that they are in fact friends so a bitter rivalry could come across completely contrived. The successful pageant queen is professional from head to toe and knows how to turn heads and impress judges, so her success in All Stars 2 would be hardly surprising. Will she able to go far in such a showstopping cast? We'll have to wait and see, but something you do know is that Coco is going to bring some major spice to the competition, that i'm looking forward to.

Last but not least is Season 6 runner up Adore Delano, and what a career she's had since Drag Race. She released two successful studio albums in Til Death Do Us Party and Afterparty with songs like I Adore U, DTF and I Look F***in' Cool all having millions of views to their name. Known for her punk rock drag chic, Adore is effortless is her look but her perfomances are always packed with passion and beautiful big vocals. With such a charismatic personality, Adore is one of the most likeable queens in the line up, but personality can only get you so far. She got off to a rough start in Season 6, and this season will be more unforgiving so can she survive amongst such polished queens? Well she's polish remover bitches, so I'm thinking, ummm yeah, but achieving success is going to be hard in this cast of all stars.

So tell me who's your favourite and who your predicted top 3 is in the comments

Getting Under Nick Jonas ... I Wish

Soooo most people who know me, know I'm a big Nick Jonas fan. This isn't just to do with how smoking hot he is (i'd be lying if I said that wasn't a factor), but more because of many other reasons.

Ever since Chains and Jealous I've been rather taken by him. What I loved about Jealous (this might sound weird) is the role he took in the song. Let me explain. One of my favourite songs of all time is Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know. In the song she's angry at an ex lover, cursing him for being an asshole. I loved the unattractive role she takes in the song. Normally in love songs, the person singing is a wallflower who has done little to nothing wrong, and they are elegantly reminiscing about what could have been. Now this picture isn't very real to life I think, so I love how she gets so raw and angry, telling him exactly how she feels. This is how I feel about Jealous. He could very well have wrote a song about how much he love and idolizes her, blah blah blah which he still does but he is also real and paints himself not as a heartfelt innocent casanova but as a guy prone to jealousy for which he's sorry for. I absolutely love that.

Now in terms of videos, Levels was pretty damn hot with Nick in his tan jacket dancing around the stage. Now though he's revealed the video for Under You, and oh my jesus I need water. If you haven't seen it here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DmAhyHemR8

Now that we've all caught up, I think we can all collectively say, we either want to be Shay Mitchell (Pretty Little Liars) or Nick Jonas (my future husband) in this video. The shower scene made my eyes melt. At first I thought her sitting down in the shower and him coming over to console her was very Casino Royale, but then they get it on, both with the most enviable bodies and it's even better. Defo gymspiration right there folks. No doubt this video is getting re-watched. It's so slick, well made and exciting for all the right reasons, and is definitely my favourite Nick Jonas video so far.

It's also in this time when the gay community are needing all the support they can get, that it's important to point out how healthy figures like Nick Jonas are. Very rarely are there male straight figures in the music industry, looking for major commercial success, who are so open and inclusive of the gay community. If more straight figures in the entertainment industry did the same, especially straight males, then that would make a big difference in the perception of the LGBTQIA community, and how they should be treated as fans.

So there many reasons why I love Nick Jonas. I've only scratched the surface. Of course i fancy the pants off of him, (duh I have eyes don't I?!) but that's not the only reason, and I hope I've explained that well in this post. Now i'm off to watch Under You for the 20 millionth time. Oh Shay you lucky bitch ;)

Orlando

I couldn't not talk about this topic. As a proud member of the LGBT community, I can't keep quiet about the homophobia that happened in Orlando at the weekend. The gunman, who shall remain nameless, took the innocent lives of 49 people and injured 53 at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando. The fear faced by the club-goers must have be unimaginable. We keep hearing horrific accounts of what happened that night, all over the internet and in the press. Take Eddie Justice, a man who lived in downtown Orlando, his mom Mina said he liked to eat, workout and make everyone laugh. He was in the Pulse Nightclub and was giving his mom a blow by blow account as he was trapped in the bathroom. He started with "Mommy I love you" but soon he was texting "I'm gonna die". Sadly he died in the early hours of Monday morning. 

How many more deaths is it gonna take America? How many more innocent people are going to die because you won't impose stricter gun laws? Of course we need to stop the source of the hatred which is poisoning minds to commit these terrible atrocities, but it's just too easy for these people to obtain a weapon of such power in the first place. 

Republican Marco Rubio in an interview with a BBC correspondent was asked about imposing stricter gun laws to which he said that it would have happened anyway, they would have found another way to get a gun. The answer he gave was simply not good enough. Imagine if the world took that approach to other crimes and events? The world would be in even more chaos than it is now. You can't turn a blind eye to such a major cause of such a unthinkably tragic horror. Banning gun use in America or making it much tougher to obtain a weapon isn't enough but it's a start which could save so many lives. Considering all the mass shootings that are happening in America, maintaining the current law or procedure to obtain a gun is insanity. America owes it to the all the innocent people who have had their life cut short in this way to take action now. Action doesn't mean start another war. Action doesn't mean throw meaningless words into the political arena to score points in the election. Action means starting at home. Action means imposing stricter gun laws. Action means making equality law. Action means coming together as a country and showing solidarity against such hatred. Action means now. 

You don't need to be American or LGBT to show compassion. It's so important to show your support from wherever you are in the world. I'm sending my love to Orlando and hoping that this never happens again, but with current gun laws, it will. 

Poor Boy

I don't know about anyone else but I feel constantly poor. No matter what sort of advance in life I make, I always end up in the same place of trying to scrape together money to pay rent, pay for food, transport, blah blah blah and it's all a major headache. When did the world become so bloody expensive? You can't do anything nowadays without breaking the bank.

When I was living with my parents, I didn't realise how lucky I was financially. Now by no means are my family rich, in fact it's the complete opposite and sure, when I was in Dumfries I was bored out of my mind constantly, but I had enough money that having a bit of fun wasn't as regularly difficult as it is now. I didn't have to pay rent, buy the food, pay electricity bills etc I was a lot more blessed than I appreciated. Now living in Glasgow everything has changed. I pay for my flat which is smack bang in the city centre. Very convenient I know. I love living in the city centre but being so central costs a lot of money and I can't wait to move further out and alleviate the cost. I got a new job in January and now earn more money than I ever did, but still all the bills adding together means I'm just as poor as I was.

I remember the days that me and brother would go to game, and say “well we've only got 40 pound to spend so let's just buy a game” and we used to do this, sometimes it felt every Saturday. If I have 40 pound to spend on a Saturday on anything I wanted, I'd be buzzing out my tree.

By no means am I feeling too sorry for myself, hence the sarky title of the post. I realise there a lot of people in the world worse off than me and that I'm very lucky to have the life and freedom i've got in this country, but still … i'm bloody skint haha.

Now I've got to think of ways to either scale things back or drum up money. Hmmm well … Argyle Street seems a popular place to sell your ass or maybe big brother or maybe I should find a rich man and be a house husband … or mayyyyyyyyybe I need to go back to the drawing board.

They say money doesn't bring you happiness … well that's a load of shite because I'd be WAY happier with more of it

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#gymgay

I'm really into my fitness. It's something I don't think I could live without. Keeping my body fit gives me more confidence socially and makes me look and feel healthier. I'm not gonna lie though, of course the reason I go to the gym is to have a sexy body, so I can look like the guys I find so attractive. In many ways, I think this way of thinking is reflected in the gay world. A lot of gay guys try to look like the type of guy they find attractive. It's why I think a lot of gay couples, particularly men, look similar in build, height, look etc. To be attractive to that person, you have to be in their league, and a way of doing this is by trying to emulate that particularly attractive trait. In a physical sense, I definitely find muscle attractive. It's why I go to the gym so regularly, so I can gain that muscle, feel happier with what I see in the mirror, and look hotter to that certain handsome guy. Maybe the way of thinking I've just described is mind numbingly shallow, but it's a mind set I can't help but be locked into.

So I go to the gym about 5 times a week, 6 if I'm feeling really motivated. Something I've noticed while I'm at the gym is the way some guys avoid me. At first I thought it was just my paranoia, but it happens too often for it to be just my imagination. The guys that seem to avoid me, are the macho looking guys. When I say avoid me, that doesn't mean I'm walking up to them trying to socialise. What happens is I go to a piece of equipment, sit down at it, and in a matter of seconds, that guy near my equipment, gets up and moves away pretty much immediately. Are they sensing my gayness? Do they really think I'm interested or trying to come onto them? Now of course, I'm only human, I may have the occasional glance to see who's in the room, and I may go for another couple of glances if a guy is particularly beaut, but I don't stare intensely or longingly, so why are people so on guard?

In reflection, maybe it's just my insecurities messing with my head. Maybe I'm just overthinking yet again. I don't know but it does make me wonder if I'm the only #gymgay who's felt this way? I'm going to try and rise above it, and put it to the back of my mind, but if it happens again too often, I can't help but hold my hands and say “sorry man, can't help it, I'm gay”.

Hello, It's Me

I thought for one of my first blog posts, I'd tell you a bit about myself. I'm originally from Dumfries, a place known for Robert Burns, Calvin Harris, shitting seagulls and Queen of the South … oh and me of course ;) I lived there for the first 20 years of my life. I went to St Michael's Primary School and Dumfries Academy. During my young years (talking as if i'm old lol) I've done a bit of everything. I've been the lead in 3 National Theatre of Scotland Productions (I played JM Barrie, a bulgarian orphan named Tom and a tortured teenager … cheery I know) I was in the National Youth Choir of Scotland when I was younger (I'm a diva on the mic) I've been a zombie in a short film (I got killed by a pencil in my ear because I'm the weakest zombie in history).

 The avenue I'm heading down at the moment is presenting. I've co-hosted the biggest free event in Scotland “Youth Beatz” for the past 6 years, which draws a crowd of around 12,000 people on the day. I've also been very lucky to interview the likes of Rebecca Adlington and Simon Weston for the Commonwealth Youth Summit (I'll just pick up those names I dropped). My presenting is the reason I came up to Glasgow. I studied Radio at the City of Glasgow College. I may upload the documentaries on the course in due course, or share a link, just to embarrass myself (although not to blow my own trumpet but I did get an A in both years of HNC and HND, not too shabby)

I love to gym, go on dates, go shopping and eating with friends and be a total spoon on a regular basis. You've got to be a bit mad to get through life, unfortunately I think I'm more than just a bit. I've been living in Glasgow for the past 3 years and I'm absolutely loving it. It's a beautiful city, full of lovely friendly people and so much to do. I'm working away at the moment to pay the bills after completing my course and that leads us to present day. I'm 22 turning 23 in July, loving the current summer heat wave, and taking you on my journey. You're welcome to come. ;)