Love, Sex and Magic

Looking for love nowadays feels both easier and harder than ever. It's easier in the sense that there is so many more ways to connect to people, not just in your community, but around the world. It's harder in the sense that, with the rise of technology, where you can find out any answer to any question, there is a need for immediacy, and this has filtered through to the sexual landscape we live in. I feel like all anyone wants these days is a shag, and they are not prepared to wait for it.

I've been on many dates trying to find the one. Wait, let me re-phrase that. I've been on many FIRST dates trying to find the one. In the past I think I inadvertently gave out mixed signals. I'd talk about wanting a relationship, then when they said “Do you want to come back to mine, I'd say” “Yeah alright, sounds good” People translate come back to mine as sex, but I translate come back to mine as come back to mine. Do you know what I mean? I'm honest and I say what I mean. If I say let's go back to yours, I don't mean let's have sex. If I wanted to have sex with you, I'd try to awkwardly say back at mine or yours “Sooooooo … do you wanna *cough cough* you know … do the deed” As lame as that sounds, you see, I've never fully had sex. I've tried a couple of times, but never went through with it. I've just not felt comfortable enough. I'd love to find someone who is willing to have some patience when it comes to sex. Now that doesn't mean, we take the smallest steps in the world when it comes to intimacy. It also doesn't mean I don't love a good flirt. What it means is that when it comes having the best sexual experience, it won't happen immediately, so let's just take our time and practice, as we get to know each other more and more, and like each other more and more, it'll get so much better. I fear though that this situation is unrealistic. No one seems to truly understand. They say they do, but they never follow through in reality.

Another problem I seem to have is with protection. A lot of people don't seem to want to wear it. I do everything protected. This doesn't mean I think you're infected. This means that with the rise of STI's nowadays, I'm not willing to take that risk with ANYONE on the PLANET. If we, down the line, end up in a relationship and are totally comfortable and trustworthy, then of course we can leave it, but even then, do we really have to? Does it really make that much of a difference? I wouldn't know if it does, but I wouldn't think so.

All this talk of sex really dilutes what should be at the heart of a relationship, and as corny as this sounds, it's love (oh god cringe, i'm a big softie). Sex shouldn't be the be all and end all. Of course you need to find the other person physically very attractive but that doesn't mean you need to rush to have sex. Love is about more than sex. It's about someone's personality, having fun, getting to know each others hobbies and passions etc.

We, and I'm including myself in this, need to stop judging everyone so harshly, and give people a chance. You never know who might come round the corner. Not everyone is going to look like a model. This doesn't mean you need to drop your standards. I love a guy who keeps fit for example. All it means is, if someone has a certain hang up or less than perfect aspect or aspects, don't dump them immediately. In this time we live in, we need to be more caring for each other, and less excluding. The world needs love, we need love, I need love.